Honoring Vulnerability

This year, I had the chance to participate in two fantastic panels at Stanford’s Medicine X conference. You can see the video of the panel on chronic illness and depression here://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/6qn7EGMzggQ?rel=0
The video for the second panel will be available later this fall. The great thing about panels is that you get an authentic discussion, a give and take that is really valuable. The tough thing about panels is that you often think about the things you wish you had said later on (maybe that’s just me).

So, this post is about those things. The things I wish I had said–in both panels. Because at the heart of all of the work I do with my clients, the advocacy I do online, and the writing I share in this blog is this conviction: [tbpquotable]We are all unique, fascinating, fallible, fragile, resilient human beings.[/tbpquotable] In spite of marketing that suggests that we should never be sad, never feel pain, never experience illness-each of those experiences is a part of being human. In spite of a culture that demands invulnerability and infallibility, we are both vulnerable and prone to mistakes.

So, I wish I had said these things:

• We need to give our doctors and other health care providers permission to experience and claim their own pain, fear, sadness and vulnerability.
• We need to talk about the amazing learning potential in our mistakes.
• We need safe space (in our heads, in our workplaces, in our training environments) to have moments of vulnerability.
• We need to counter shame and unrealistic expectations.
• We need to challenge the damaging perfectionism that pervades our healthcare system.
• We need to respect the courage it takes to admit when you are hurting, or scared, or depressed, or anxious.
• We need to support one another’s humanity more and better.

The statement I made that was tweeted the most was about the need to decrease stigma around depression and other brain health struggles–both in medical patients and in medical providers. In order to decrease stigma, we need to increase our understanding that vulnerability is a fundamental human experience AND our compassion and empathy for the pain and difficulty that vulnerability can bring.

I’ve been having a conversation about vulnerability with the #MedPsych tweetchat community over the past week. We’re continuing that conversation tonight at 9:30 pm ET. You are welcome to join us.